How We Make This Work: The Karim-Kinceys

With the How We Make This Work series, I’m giving  married couples a chance to give insight into how they work out common issues we all face on the other side of “I Do.” The goal is to show that despite what marriage may look like in the mainstream, there are many couples that are willing to put the work in to maintain happy, healthy relationships with their spouses!

Let’s meet The Karim-Kinceys!

Sabur and Ashley Karim-Kincey have been married for a few months shy of two years. They live in Sacramento, CA, where she works in advertising and he’s an Audio/Visual Engineer.

1) We make communication work by having the courage to be extremely honest with one another about any and everything. In a marriage. more often than not, couples confide in their friends as opposed to their mates. This lack of communication can create a rift in your relationship; and can ultimately be the demise. We take the time to think before we speak and allow one another to do the same.

2) We make our finances work by first giving our tithes and offering. Putting God first in our finances enables to make wiser decisions. We make sure to sit down together and develop our list of needs, wants, priorities and goals as a family; because our individual desires may not be in line with what God has for us at that time.

3) We make child rearing work by…There aren’t any little Karim-Kinceys at the moment. For now we are the proud parents of our fur baby – a dog named Steve. 🙂

4)  We make romance work by trying to keep things exciting and fun. One tool we use (that I borrowed from my girlfriend ;-)) is alternating planning date night, where one week I plan and surprise our date, and the other week Sabur does. Romance and intimacy is not all about sex. Some of the most amazing nights we spend together are us, just sharing and laughing about our day.

5) What advice would you give to newlyweds (or even oldyweds!) on how to make marriage work?

The advice we would give is to be willing to compromise, to listen to one another and to have fun. We believe marriage is forever, so it’s important to put in the work, but also reap the benefits of a healthy, loving relationship. As long as you keep God first and put your mates needs above your own, you will have a fruitful and enjoyable marriage.

Got some tips you’d like to share? Send a request to be featured to and include “How We Make This Work” in the subject line!


Posted on September 14, 2011, in Features, Romance Wednesday, The Ring: Marriage and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 7 Comments.

  1. good points. it’s so important to talk to your mate and not your friends. friends will still be holding on to something you told them eons ago even though you two as a couple have moved past it. friends don’t see the whole of your relationship cause they’re not in it so sometimes it’s best to leave them out of it. 🙂

  2. I just love this couple!!!! They have served as an inspiration to me for as long as they have been an item. I appreciate them sharing insight into how to make a marriage a happy and lasting marriage, which is advice much needed as I myself am a newlywed. Thanks for sharing 🙂

    • Aww we love you too Raquel! When we started dating, we asked that the Lord allow our relationship to speak to and help couples around us, and it’s a blessing that we see the fruits of that seed. It was an honor to be a part of and see you (as much as I did lol) marry your best friend. May your new union be blessed immensely! Love you!

    • How sweet, Raquel! They really are a lovely couple! Thank you for stopping by.

  3. all excellent advice! couldn’t agree more with “God first and put your mates needs above your own.” awesome. 😀

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